OK, so I managed to watch a few minutes of an MLS match while there was a rain delay before a test match I was watching, and I started to get a sense of why absolutely nobody watches the MLS. (This point was driven home to me by a quiz bowl packet I was playing which had a bonus that simply asked to supply the team name given the city. This was followed by my teammate saying that he "loves how they know what sports America watches." But I digress.) So, without further ado:

Guy's Ways to Improve the MLS

1. Integrate more extensively with the European circuit. The Champions League is run by UEFA, yes, but the South American leagues always have some contact with the outside world, if you will, be it an annual competition or what have you. At the very least, get into the transfer circuit. Maybe that way we can get some actual players playing.
2. Get rid of the dopey team names. Football is a sport of FCs and Uniteds, and even Reals, not Dynamos and not fucking Red Bulls. Need I say more?
3. One of the best ideas to come out of football is the promotion and relegation. Hell, every sport should adopt this, not just MLS. Maybe that'll get the Royals to stop pouring money into over-the-hill veterans, and so forth.
4. Go ahead and call your sport "football." Australians can live with 2 sports called football; why can't we? It's a simple name change, but it'll garner a lot more respect.

It's not organized or anything, but it's just a couple of things that have been bothering me about the MLS. As a football fan, I'd love to see it succeed—just not at all in its current incarnation.